Saturday, December 6, 2008
the recently excavated journal has revealed more secrets about 90s me,
in the 90s i only made note of the most promising prospects of men. okay, some were roommates so they didn't count, but by surrounding myself with such eligible, scholarly, man-boys, definitely that would attract more of the same. oh i would bag myself a gooder! but, alas, it was not to be.
among my other regrets, i remember ol' metal man in the corner at the 24hr breakfast restaurant, so gravelly faced, so 3 a.m., so refined. *sigh* why didn't i make a move? i'm pretty sure i'd be on world tour right now. i'm also pretty sure he was there with axl rose, how could he not be successful in life?
fortunately my life took a different turn and i opted for a man surely not as glamorous or 3 a.m., but he's a gooder.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
a week ago i was happily, briskly walking along to get my son from school, my right jacket pocket brimming over with loose wonka runt candies, all was good with the world! until,that is, i threw a handful of runts in my mouth and started crushing them with my teeth, which if i do say so myself, have always been quite skilled candy crushers. one stubborn little rat bastard strawberry runt resisted the crush! not willing to lose the battle i gave it my all,
yup, broken tooth.
luckily my dentist was able to fix it with just a filling, unluckily she had to freeze it a million times. the after effect of this was all the freezing pooling at my jaw and creating a dudley do right, kurt russel-y kind of thing.
*sigh* a couple of days later i woke up with the angriest, ugliest sty in the history of the world. the swelling in my jaw and the swelling in my eye didn't quite meet, so in a frantic effort to unite the two i grew a big ol' zit.
the lovely thing about this is that now that the swelling is nearly gone and my eye is almost healed, i feel like a fricken' super model!